It was May 27, 2016, the last day of kindergarten for my twins, Eden and Xen, and a day that changed all of our lives forever.
Flashback to April when I had found a lump in my right breast, something I had not noticed before. I chalked it up to “that time of the month” and went about my business but when some time had passed and the lump had not, I knew it required further investigation.
So here we are back to May 27th, we picked the kids up from school and we were ready to celebrate but not before a quick stop off at the imaging center where I could pick up my results from my breast biopsy that I was sure would report some benign condition.
I ran into the imaging center, returned back to the car with the biopsy report in hand, ready to read the results. The next words out of my mouth began the moment that changed who I am forever, “I have breast cancer Mark”. Mark, my husband, thinking I was joking, said “That’s not funny. You are joking! You are joking, right?”
The tears began to stream down my face as I began my spiral down the rabbit hole. Oh my god, the kids just turned 6, they just had their last day of kindergarten today and I don’t know how serious this cancer is. Am I going to die? Am I going to see my kids grow up? I am too young. Why me?
Although it was a couple of months still before I knew the seriousness of my breast cancer and what would lie ahead for me in my near future, I did make drastic changes in my life immediately. One of those changes is what brought about this blog, Celebrate You First.
You see, I had been working really hard. Between volunteering at school, helping my husband run his business, having clients of my own and trying to be Super Woman I was failing. I had stopped working out regularly because I thought I had too much to do and not enough time to do it. I had stopped eating well because there was never time to stop and make myself something healthy. All of this was making me angry and resentful. I was full of negative emotions along with the exhaustion from working all hours of the day and night.
All of that stopped the day I found out I had cancer. It was time for me to focus on me. I had been taking care of everyone else but myself.
My husband, Mark, always uses the oxygen mask analogy. If you have ever flown you know the speech, the flight attendant will announce – “In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. To start the flow of oxygen, pull the mask towards you. Place it firmly over your nose and mouth, secure the elastic band behind your head, and breathe normally. …. If you are traveling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your mask on first and then assist the other person. ”
I had to start putting on my own oxygen mask, that day and every day thereafter. I needed to take care of myself, I needed to not just survive but thrive so I could be here to watch my children grow into the amazing people they were becoming. I was going to celebrate me first, and yes, it felt selfish at times and occasionally it still does, but I just remind myself I am no good to anyone if I don’t take care of me too so I will continue to Celebrate Me First.
What do you do to Celebrate You First?
