Yesterday we took our son Xen to a follow-up appointment with a behavior specialist, Dr. Jason. It was Xen’s first visit, but our second to discuss his issues with focusing at school. The interesting thing is the focusing issues have improved since our last visit due to some minor accommodations made by Xen’s teachers. We are very lucky that we have them now, but we also have to think about the future because let’s face it, not every teacher will be willing or have the capability to offer extra assistance and redirection.
Xen has been placed in an extraordinary situation this year. He is in class with his twin sister Eden, in a blended class where about 80% of students are part of the gifted program. Gifted students have been assessed academically, have higher IQ’s and are what we would say “above average” students. In this particular class, many of those same students are very mature for their age as well.
Xen is a very smart child. Even with his focusing issues he still gets good grades. Needless to say, I am sure there is still a lot of comparing other students to Xen, as well as comparing him to his twin sister, especially when he is different.
Xen is corky. I love how he scrunches his nose to push up his glasses instead of using his finger. I love how he will break out in silly Fortnite dances no matter where is. I love that he expresses himself. Unfortunately, some of the students in his class don’t love these things so much and call my son weird.
Recently, on the car ride home from school Xen began crying and stated “I just want to be cool. Why don’t the other kids like me?” This came up again yesterday at the visit with Dr. Jason when he asked Xen if anything at school or home bothered him. Xen calmly stated, “Kids think I am weird.” Xen didn’t bring up the teachers frustration with him not focusing or paying attention, the entire reason for our visit. This didn’t matter to Xen. What did matter is being different.
Teaching children to celebrate their differences has to begin at home. While attending Meet the Teacher a few days before the school year started, I remember hearing a parent say “What are they doing in here? I didn’t think they were gifted.” This parent clearly felt that this student didn’t belong because he was different. No wonder his son bullies those who are different.
My husband and I always encourage both our children to be themselves, even if that means they are different than other kids. We also often discuss the similarities and differences of people from various religions, ethnicities, cultures, genders, physical abilities, and the attributes that make us each unique. We want to encourage them to celebrate our differences!
